Yard Work

The fate of all home owners is yard work.  Some people thrive on yard work;  to them it's a hobby, something they anticipate with pleasure and execute with joy.  To me, the salient word in the phrase yard work is work.  Ugggh.  Work is not something I associate with pleasure or joy.  A good book.  A refreshing beverage.  A refreshing beverage and a good book;  these are things I anticipate with pleasure and execute with joy.

Fortunately, yard work in Calgary is minimal.  My lawn is approximately the size of a postage stamp which means the sprinkler is moved once; from it's sprinkler home to the center of the lawn.  If I just leave it in the center of the lawn, subsequent moves are unnecessary.

The growing season is very short in Calgary so any harvesting of yard produce, some herbs I've planted or the odd spray of lilacs can be accomplished with a pair of scissors following a direct path from the deck to my intended victim.  My yard harvesting experiences have never caused me any alarm nor have I ever felt threatened.

The same cannot be said for my yard work here in Costa Rica.  Indeed, it is fraught with peril.  The area carved out of the jungle serves as garden and lawn.  This area is quite extensive with two separate water spigots for the 500 metre hoses which can be threaded through the underbrush.  For starters, I have to get past the monster that guards one of the water spigots.  I am speaking of what I've come to call the "Big Assed Spider".  This guy is large and creepy.  In my minds eye this creature is the size of a dinner plate.  In reality he is about 3 inches from tip to tip.  So far, he has always allowed me to turn the water on or off.  Hopefully, this truce will continue.

A number of the Big Assed Spider's mates (mistresses?) build their webs between branches in the undergrowth which I must navigate when moving the sprinklers.  When I run into a spider web at home, I hardly notice and disgruntedly wipe it away with my hand.  Not here.  This web resembles a trampoline in its strength and elasticity.  I've run into these and will not attempt any wiping away.  Impasse.  You win, Big Assed Spider.  His web is left intact.  I'll take another route.

Various produce grows on the trees here, some of which we're harvesting.  Limes, peppers, bananas and mangos are all on the property.  While out checking for mangos yesterday I encountered a tribe of  howler monkeys.  The howlers don't seem much bothered by humans and just continue to go about their business which entails snacking, hanging about, showing off and of course, howling. Now, while the howlers aren't much bothered by us they really have a low opinion of people hanging about under their tree.  I came to this conclusion when a number of them let loose with a shower of urine.  Were they just excited to see me and lost bladder control?  I think not.


The howler has a sense of irony which I respect.  If some monkey was taking my picture while I was hanging out, just reading and enjoying a beverage, I know what I'd do.