Now It's Time ...

So sad...  It's soon time to say goodbye to Costa Rica and specifically our little piece of this small but abundant country.  I don't have an anecdote to relate.  I haven't felt motivated to blog.  But, then a butterfly fluttered through the house, the hummingbirds chased each other around the feeder, pelicans flew by over the beach, the iguanas chased each other around the lawn and a couple doves walked by the side of the deck;  all in the course of 30 seconds.

So, a list of what I've loved about being here.  Not in any particular order, since it's all good.

... The environment.
The density and diversity of plant and animal life in this part of the world is amazing.  We have bananas, limes, plantains, mangoes and much more food growing in the 4 acres that makes up Casa de Mike.  The flowers, who's names I am ignorant of are continuous and beautiful.  Daily, we observe more bird and mammal varieties passing through than we can count.  A wonderfully rich environment.

... Outdoor living space.

You've got to have the climate for this one and we've definitely got it here.  While it can be too hot during the day, with the fan on, the outdoor shower and trips to the beach, I've not been whining.  The kitchen is protected from any wind but is outside with a great fridge and a propane range.  All very comfortable.

... The casa.

We've been fortunate to have located in this house.  It's about 100 meters from the beach which is fronted by a very dusty road.  The house is close enough to have easy access to the beach but far enough from the road to keep us dust free.  Everything here is constructed to optimize outdoor living.  Exactly what you want in this beautiful environment.

... The beach

Tree lined and sandy, the beach is amazing.  The tide is quite severe here with a difference of about 8 feet between high and low tide.  We've found the good swimming spots and unless the tide is really low can enjoy a good dunk in the Pacific.  If the tide is low, we head to the "hot tub" and sit, surrounded by rocks, letting the tide push us around in our sandy surround.

... Ticos
The people here are great.  Friendly, proud and self assured they are a pleasure to deal with.  You don't find a lot of Costa Rican immigrants in Canada or the U.S.  They love their country and can succeed within it's borders, unlike many of their Central American neighbours.

... The food
Locally grown produce and seafood that is caught fresh daily means its easy to prepare delicious meals at home or enjoy great restaurant visits.  The chickens are all free range and their eggs are great.  Our little grocery stores are small and beef is not something they often stock but I've enjoyed some delicious steaks in the local restaurants.

... Monkeys

I could have covered these off under "environment" but they deserve their own spot.  We are related to these dudes so I find them as fascinating yet less irritating than my fellow homo sapiens.  The howlers are noisy, slow and prefer not being seen.  The capuchins (your basic organ grinder monkey) are active, fun to watch and more likely to engage with us.

And here's a list of things I've not liked.

... The Italian family's wolves
But they moved about a month ago so this list can now be considered empty.

I've enjoyed my time here.  In fact, more than I anticipated and am in no hurry to leave.  Duty and a return flight home calls.  There's also the 3 month maximum stay rule that Costa Rica imposes on visitors but a 3 day visit to Nicaragua is all it takes to reload for another 3 months.  Regardless, in a few more days, Jake, Tazy and I are homeward bound.  Earnest B. DeMille needs a new gig.  Help!!!!!!!

On The Control and Domestication of Humans (guest blog)

The local house cat, China, has requested I post this submission. (ebdm)

It is approaching the end of the current human residents' term here at Casa Empresso Catarina Olivantes de Sorba (my home). The humans have crudely named the house Casa de Mike and this correspondant, China Cat.

The current guests at the casa include a human male which I have named Lesser Tool, a human female which I have named Minor Minion and a black dog, which I have named Brainless Turd. After an initial period of surveillance I was able to determine the heirarchy of the group. While Brainless Turd initially appeared to be subjugated to the whims of the humans it became apparent over time that he had significant control and manipulated both Lesser Tool and Minor Minion to a great degree. Understanding the power relationships within the group I decided upon an appropriate plan of action and within the first week of occupation commenced putting this plan into effect.

I decided upon one of the stock plans for human domestication. Specifically, the "Four Step Basic Plan" as enunciated in that seminal work, Plans for Subjugation of Humans by His Eminence Rudolfo Guyana Haberoncay De Rigenfort, was chosen for this project. The four steps specified in the plan are:

1. Acceptance via cuteness and perceived submission
2. Demonstration of worthiness and skill
3. Disappearance
4. Reappearance and control

I am pleased with the implementation and results of the Four Step Basic Plan and provide details on each step in the following:

1. Acceptance via cuteness and perceived submission

This is stock process and we have all been well trained in it's deployment.  A conflicting factor in the process was the necessity to both avoid and expose myself to Brainless Turd.  Given the control he has over the humans their responses to my approaches was mitigated by their need to demonstrate their affection for Brainless Turd and to ensure that his position within the group was not compromised.  I recommend most highly the treatise Dummies Guide to the Subjugation of Dogs by Prince Lorenzo Himenez Edwardo De Silva III.  Prince Lorenzo provides clear guidelines on the reading of dog boundaries and how to move those boundaries through our force of presence.

2. Demonstration of worthiness and skill

There is some overlap between step 1 and 2.  In fact, it is useful to deploy step 1 throughout the course of the training.  Humans have a notoriously short attention span and require reinforcement on a regular basis. 

 To demonstrate my worthiness as the controlling actor in the casa, I chose to capture and kill a house pest, in this case a Transandinomys talamancae (Talamancan Rice Rat).  After announcing my kill and gaining the attention of the humans I proceeded to spend the remainder of the night dismembering and dissecting the rodent.  Leaving the intact internal organs and spine of the talamancae in one location and moving the meat and remaining bones to another was somewhat painstaking but necessary. Humans are easily shocked and at this early stage of their training it is important to disturb their world view (see Archtype and Symbol, Creating Psychic Disturbances in Humans by His Holiness Gustav Rickard Semiastrillo Rupert). 

 By implementing this elegant technique the humans became much more pliable.  In a continuous state of uncertainty as to my intentions, they were also in a somewhat awed state as to my capabilities.  Given their current state of mind it was time to put step 3 into effect.

3. Disappearance

For a period of four days and nights I removed my person from contact with the humans.  Staying close, yet abstaining from contact I was able to observe their state of mind.  As each day passed the humans showed increasing concern as to my well-being.  Being simple-minded, they assumed that I was unable to look after myself in my own environment and as days passed took on more responsibility for my absence.  Their concern that Brainless Turd was implicated in my disappearance added to their psychic dissonance, increasing their pliability.

4. Reappearance and control

Choosing an opportune moment, I announced my return to the humans.  Unable to understand our language, it was amusing to see them joyfully greet me as I announced "greetings morons, your mistress returns".  My ration of food has been increased and I move about the house as I please.  Treats, such as leftover fish are now appearing at my dining table.  Brainless Turd has been subjugated and is a minor irritant not worth bothering with.

I hope this case study has been useful and I have made some small contribution to my readers.  I look forward to the next guests at my casa and trust they will be somewhat more challenging than the current occupants.

In fellowship for all Felidae, most cordially, Empresso Catarina Olivantes de Sorba.

Iguanas I Have Known

It's been a real pleasure to get to know some of our local iguanas.  They favour the largest trees as their homes and the trunk is their access point into the yard.  When they are about 6 feet from the ground, they pause and do a bit of head bobbing before descending to the yard.  I'm not sure what this waiting period before hitting the ground is about.  I suspect it's just a "hey, look at me" kind of thing since it has no apparent use in checking out and avoiding hawks, their natural enemy.  I don't think the poor buggers can even look up when they're descending the tree, so it's hit the ground and hope no ones waiting to eat me.

The first iguana we noticed was Daddy.  Daddy's a big guy with a serious row of spines on his back.  When Daddy walks by another iguana, the other guy makes a lot of room for the big guy.  Daddy is aloof and has always ignored us.  From his point of view, renters come and go but Daddy is a constant.

There's a couple of iguanas who travel in the gutter.  As they traverse the eaves their claws click,click along like a clockwork.  We figure these guys are the plumbers and have named them Walter and Hank.

A couple of the small guys hang out together quite a bit.  They play, jumping on each others back and seem to have a rollicking good time.  As I write this, up the tree they scramble, Jiblet chasing Giblet.  Or, perhaps the other way around, they kind of look the same.


The other iguanas include Tubby, Baby, Amos and Azul.  We started feeding Azul after he showed up on the step, interested in food.  Azul has taken to inviting himself into the house looking for us.  When we discover him in the house he determines that he's in foreign territory and scuttles off the deck, tumbling into the garden.  If we notice Azul on the step, he'll hang around until he considers that he's been properly fed, then, without a thank-you, he'll spin around and scuttle off.

I'm enjoying our iguana population and have learned a fair bit about them, including the fact that they have sharp little teeth.  Azul, though friendly, is not gentle.  I have decided to only feed him long bits of food from my hand after he attempted to take my finger along with the stubby bit of pineapple I was holding.

I'm hoping my one time "friend" hasn't acquired a taste for blood.