Pet Evaluation I - Dog Versus Iguana

This is the first in a series of pet evaluation postings.  Many of us have pets.  Typically, very little evaluation goes into what species of pet is the most appropriate for the pet owner, particularly when the locale of the pet's home is taken into consideration.

This evaluation will be based on the following criteria:

1. Cost of ownership
2. Amiability
3. Feeding
4. Pet's ability to do chores - help out
5. Fun - just how much fun can you have with the little fellow?
6. Deference.  I know this is egocentric but I want that damned pet's respect!
7. Tractability.  How easy is it to train this critter?
8. X Factor - not sure what this is.  I'll just use it to manipulate the final score.

Each criteria will be given a score in the range 0.0 to 1.0.  Very scientific and I am certain that if you live in the Nicoya Peninsula in Costa Rica this will give an unequivocal result which anyone considering either a dog or an iguana as a pet can have complete confidence in.

We have recently adopted a pet iguana.  Actually, we had nothing much to do with it since the creature just showed up and started begging for food.  Regardless, I now have some experience with the suitability of the iguana as a pet.  Our iguana has a blue hue and so we've aptly named him (her?) Azul.

Azul's competition in this evaluation is Jake.  Jake is a black labrador retriever who has been around for eleven years, so we know this guy pretty well.  I'm confident we can fairly evaluate Jake's suitability as a pet.

The evaluation:

1. Cost of ownership

This one is a no-brainer.  Azul may be a purebred iguana but his cost is zero.  Jake is a purebred labrador retriever and they're not cheap.

Score:          Jake: 0.2             Azul: 1.0

2. Amiability

Jake is one of your more amiable dogs.  Basically, a 105 pound lap dog.  Azul, though friendly by iguana standards has never nuzzled my leg nor put his head on my lap.

Score:          Jake: 1.0             Azul: 0.2

3. Feeding

We buy Jake his food, even here in Costa Rica.  Bags and bags of it.  He gets the odd table scrap but we don't want to upset his delicate digestion.  When presented with food harvested from the jungle, Jake will only eat the banana.  Azul will eat the banana, the banana skin and any leaf or stick adhering to the banana.  Basically, Azul has eaten anything I've offered him.  

If Jake missed even one of his two daily meals he lets me know about it.  He won't go off looking to find something himself.  Azul can be ignored for weeks and he goes about harvesting his own meals.  I don't want to know what he's been eating.  He's the clear winner on this one.

Score:          Jake: 0.2             Azul: 1.0

4. Chores - help out

Neither creature is really strong in this category.  Jake, in fact is useless.  When asked to run to the store for groceries, he just ignores me even though there would be a nice treat for him.   Azul, though next to useless, occasionally will clean out the eavestrough (though it might be one of his brothers).

Score:          Jake: 0.0             Azul: 0.1

5. Fun

Here's where Jake shines, at least when he's in the mood.  Stick retrieval, ball tossing or swimming with me, the guy can be a real pleasure.  Azul, on the other hand will grovel for food in his reptilian way, which is basically giving you that cold sideways stare.  He does scuttle around nicely if tossed a tasty piece of banana and can be amusing when frightened.

Score:          Jake: 0.8             Azul: 0.2

6. Deference.  

This one is both closer and more difficult to judge.  Jake can show deference if I shout loudly enough or threaten to withhold food.  Usually, however, he gives that hooded eye look, sulks and ignores me after I try letting him know who's boss.  With Azul, it's harder to know.  He might just be afraid I'll catch him and roast him for dinner but he will scuttle off and act scared if I stomp my foot.

Score:          Jake: 0.5             Azul: 0.6

7. Tractability  

Another tough one.  Both these creatures can be trained.  Particularly if there is food involved somewhere in the equation.  In Azul's favour, I always thought iguanas were fairly dumb.  Not in this guys case.  He climbs the steps looking for grub the minute I show up in the morning.  Jake is no slouch either and will retrieve and drop a ball within 10 meters of my feet when he's in the mood.

Score:          Jake: 0.6             Azul: 0.4

8. X Factor  

Azul is a new friend and he's got that new friend cache.  I don't know his foibles yet so am quite forgiving.  Jake is a faithful friend, so will score some faithful friend points.  He also has the advantage of returning to Canada with me, so it's best I not piss him off.

Score:          Jake: 0.8             Azul: 0.5

To summarize:

Criteria	Jake	Azul
1. Cost of ownership	0.2	1.0
2. Amiability	1.0	0.2
3. Feeding	0.2	1.0
4. Chores	0.0	0.1
5. Fun	0.8	0.2
6. Deference	0.5	0.6
7. Tractability	0.6	0.4
8. X Factor	0.8	0.5
Total	4.1	4.0

Whew!  Now, that was a close one.  Who would have thought?

To summarize, the dog is a better choice for those considering a pet here in Costa Rica.  However, if cost of ownership is the overriding consideration, you might just consider the iguana.

Stay tuned for the next issue in this series:
Dog versus Beetle.

MORE EXCITING IMAGES HERE